Am I poor because I'm not as fat as Gaga?

''I'm getting fat and so is my bank'' - Lady Gaga 
Okay, now I know why I'm so broke.

Ever since I've left New York, I literally have no $$$$. So since I have no money to properly purchase anything fashionably, I've been trying to go through old clothes and see if they work again. Which some of them surprisingly do! OK Sorry dad. I hereby confirm I've tried on some of your flasher coats and they do look better on me. And mom, since I can't afford real leather at the moment, your Wang is my Wang.

Here's some of the things I would buy if I weren't as broke as I am skinny.

We all know this is me.

I'm well aware of the fact that all my looks have resemblance to a fruit bowl.. I'm just very healthy.